Bad Ass Man | Hudson Owen

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Liner notes

"Bad Ass Man" was inspired by an actress I was working with in Spring 2010 making a promotional video for my writing. In her bio she described herself as a 'bad ass woman.' Actually, she was very talented and nice. The lyrics came roaring out. I produced the ballad in a recording studio in New York City. I provided the vocals and directed the music and sound effects.

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About the artist

Music has always been a part of my life. I sang in the choir as a child, and played alto sax and chromatic harmonicas in my teen years. In the 1980s I wrote lyrics and music, with my two collaborators, for our musical “Paris – A Musical of the 1920s,” about Americans in Paris during the Roaring Twenties.

I listened to Joan Baez and the the Grateful Dead, in Boston, in the 1960s; and Jeff Beck and Rod Stewart at the Fillmore West, in San Francisco.

Lately, I have been writing songs. Some are regular songs with a melody; while others combine vocals, music and sound effects. You might think of them as story songs or ballads, or ‘spoke songs’—my term. I cook them up in a recording studio in Manhattan. I’ve lived in Brooklyn for years.

Lyrics

Bad Ass Man

Lock your doors and windows,
and bring your dog inside.
It doesn’t matter if he’s mean,
I’m gonna skin his hide.

It doesn’t matter what you got,
It’s mine if I decide.
If your car is up on blocks,
I’ll take it for a ride.

I eat snakes for breakfast,
And alligator toast.
If you cross me when I’m cross,
You’re gonna see your ghost.

‘Cause I’m a bad ass man.
Bad ass man.

When I was a toddler,
My Mama said to me,
“Child, when I was pregnant,
I drove into a tree.

“You flew through the windshield,
and landed on your head,
I told the medics, ‘Leave him there,
He’s better off dead.’

“But you got up a-bawlin’
And bit through your cord,
My eyes rolled backward and
I prayed, ‘Dear Lord!’

“He’ll be a bad man.
A bad ass man.”

I went off to school
and flunked 2 + 2.
The teacher said, “Sorry,
You have zero I.Q.”

So I joined the Army;
They sent me off to ‘stan.
The Sergeant said, ‘Son,
Out there’s the Taliban.

I took up my position;
We battled through the night.
They were almost bad as me,
But not quite.

I was the last man standing in the morning light.

The General told me, “Thanks,
But you’re too bad for us.”
He gave me shiny medals
And a ticket for the bus.

I went home to Mama’s.
She was dead from pus.
I buried poor Mama,
And I rode that bus.

I got drunk in New York,
Tattooed in Tennessee.
In Florida I bit a shark
That tried to bite me.

I had a date in Denver;
got showered ‘n shaved.
She said, “Too bad, Dude,
You’re beyond being saved.”

Lock your doors and windows,
and bring your dog inside.
It doesn’t matter if he’s mean,
I’m gonna skin his hide.

It doesn’t matter what you got,
It’s mine if I decide.
If your car is up on blocks,
I’ll take it for a ride.

I eat snakes for breakfast,
And alligator toast.
If you cross me when I’m cross,
You’re gonna see your ghost.

‘Cause I’m a bad ass man!



Copyright © 2010 by Hudson Owen