EPK
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You're In The Palm Of My Hand
Waiting For The Bars To Rust - Doug Westberg -
A Love That's Always Been
Naked Bootleg - Doug Westberg -
The Big Lie
Waiting For The Bars To Rust - Doug Westberg -
You're All The Woman I Need
Behind By A Move - Doug Westberg -
The Jerk Who Runs The Open Mike at LuckyTown
Waiting For The Bars To Rust - Doug Westberg -
I Am What You See
Waiting For The Bars To Rust - Doug Westberg -
I'm A Clone
Waiting For The Bars To Rust - Doug Westberg -
Clear and Present Danger
Waiting For The Bars To Rust - Doug Westberg -
Sometimes I Imagine Asking Joni
Waiting For The Bars To Rust - Doug Westberg -
You Ain't Playin In My Sandbox
Waiting For The Bars To Rust - Doug Westberg -
My TV's My One Pride and Joy
Waiting For The Bars To Rust - Doug Westberg -
The Fog Of War
Waiting For The Bars To Rust - Doug Westberg -
Il N'y A Pas De Quoi
Waiting For The Bars To Rust - Doug Westberg -
If I Ever Fell In Love
Phrenology - Doug Westberg -
He Wants To Be A Rock N Roll Star
Phrenology - Doug Westberg -
I Believe In You
Phrenology - Doug Westberg -
Behind By A Move
Phrenology - Doug Westberg -
Only One God
Phrenology - Doug Westberg -
Stay With Me
Phrenology - Doug Westberg -
You're In The Palm Of My Hand
Passage - Doug Westberg -
Clear And Present Danger
- Doug Westberg -
I Am What You See
- Doug Westberg -
I'm A Clone
- Doug Westberg -
I Make The Livin' (She Makes The Livin' Fine)
Phrenology - Doug Westberg -
He Wants To Be A Rock n Roll Star
Phrenology - Doug Westberg -
You're All The Woman I Need
Phrenology - Doug Westberg -
The Jerk Who Runs The Open Mike at LuckyTown
- Doug Westberg -
The Big Lie
The Johnny Introspective - Doug Westberg -
Mercy Mercy Me (Zawinul) Live
- Doug Westberg -
Video Audition Clip Memory Lane
- Doug Westberg -
Desperado Eagles Live
- Doug Westberg -
Video Audition Clip Piano Bar Favorites Medley
- Doug Westberg -
Music Video Paul Simon's Gone At Last
- Doug Westberg -
Video Audition Clip Originals Medley
- Doug Westberg -
Music Video You're In The Palm Of My Hand
- Doug Westberg -
Simon Smith and the Amazing Dancing Bear
- Doug Westberg -
If I Ever Fell In Love
- Doug Westberg -
Lydia the Tatooed Lady
- Doug Westberg
You're In The Palm Of My Hand by Doug Westberg
Lyrics
You're In The Palm Of My Hand
The DNA evidence is still at the lab
But I think you’re worth taking a chance for.
I pulled up your rap sheet on my wireless modem
And, yes, I’ll meet you on the dance floor.
The Myers-Briggs rating can wait ‘til the break,
You can fill out the quiz on my Palm.
And if you’re like me—
An ESTP—
We’ll dance the lambada til dawn.
Dance the lambada til dawn.
(Refrain:)
It’s not that I’m paranoid, picky or panicky,
It’s just the technology’s available.
It’s a leg up, you see, for a nebbish like me
There’s no woman who isn’t attainable.
I just hack into MasterCard, pull your account,
Find a hotel bill that’s blackmail-able.
The world’s at my fingertips—
What a trip—
And you’re in the palm of my hand—I’m your pilot
You’re in the palm of my hand.
My cameraphone analyzed the shape of your face,
It went to HQ for comparison.
My buddy at Quantico gave me your file,
It better have nothing embarrassing.
An illegal alien works as your maid,
I’ve got INS on the line.
But if you put out, I’ll call off the roust,
And we’ll get together just fine.
We’ll get together just fine.
(Refrain)
A GPS satellite is tracking your car
I can see every move that you make.
Y’know silicone implants have serial numbers,
I’ll know if they’ll real or they’re fake.
So go grab your eight hundred dollar Versace
And get your caboose to my place.
We’ll be farting through silk—‘cause you’re one of my ilk—
And safe sex will really be safe.
Safe sex will really be safe.
(Refrain)
Somebody give me a stylus!
You’re in the palm of my hand.
© 2004 Douglas J. Westberg. All Rights Reserved. International Copyright Secured.
About the artist
Doug Westberg has been playing piano for 50 years and entertaining audiences for 40, having been an entertainer, church music director, classical organist, theater music director, children’s music enrichment leader, and composer of jazz-pop songs, choral music, and concert pieces which have received numerous performances and commissions throughout the Portland area. His current musical offering--based around the solo piano (or keyboard)--is an eclectic stew that includes liberal doses of ragtime and neo-ragtime (Randy Newman, the Beatles, Scott Joplin), keyboard rock and pop classics (Billy Joel, Steely Dan, Elton John), Tin Pan Alley and the Great American Songbook, highlighted by his body of brilliant and witty original songs. Featuring wickedly funny satire and virtuosic musicianship in a range of styles as versatile as his cover repertoire, Doug’s original songs draw from ragtime, blues, boogie rock, piano jazz, and modern jazz-pop as it suits his purpose. Wildly inventive, brilliantly crafted, and scathingly funny, his lyrics skewer politicians and celebrities, the perils of modern technology, and the vanity and vainglory of American popular culture in all its manifestations.
Westberg has recorded 2 full-length CDs: Phrenology (2003) (soon to be re-released as Behind By A Move) and his new album Waiting For The Bars To Rust (2010).
Doug Westberg has been an active part of the Portland/Vancouver music scene for over 30 years. His projects have ranged from theatrical productions like the original cabaret musical comedy The Almost Has-Been And The Nearly Never-Was (with Carol Holden) to classical organ concerts. In 2004, he shared Songwriter Of The Year honors in the Portland Songwriters Association Showcase Series, and his song “You’re All The Woman I Need,” won Best Country Song in the PSA International Song Contest. Every Friday and Saturday night from 7:00-11:00, he can be found playing, singing, and taking requests at Aaron’s Wine Cellar and Piano Bar in Portland, Oregon, 322 SE 82nd Ave. Saturday nights, Westberg is joined by son Nevada Westberg on drums. His versatility and style defy comparisons; “The best compliment I ever got,” says Westberg, “was from a guy who told me I reminded him of a combination of Randy Newman and Garrison Keillor.”
Westberg holds 2 music degrees from Marylhurst University. As a composer, his commissions have included a piece for the dedication recital series for the 43-rank Clark-MacDonald Pipe Organ at Marylhurst as well as several churches. He has played and concertized at Marylhurst University, Evergreen State College, Pomona College, Phillips Academy Andover, L’Arche Nehalem Spring Social, The Old Church, Vancouver Wine and Cheese Festival, Elevated Coffee, Ross Island Grocery, Alpenrose Dairy, dozens of churches, hundreds of weddings, farmers markets, art walks, street fairs, fundraisers, cocktail parties, corporate events, etc.
Liner notes
YOU’RE IN THE PALM OF MY HAND
More prescient with every passing day. With GPS, Internet, and cellular technology, there’s no privacy anymore. So I got to thinking, what if it could help my love life? How would that work? The result is one of my absolute fan favorites.
The phrase “We’ll be fartin’ through silk,” is one I picked up from Carol, who got it from her dad years and years ago. Recently, I saw the phrase pop up in an episode of Roseanne.
The Myers-Briggs reference might be arcane to anybody not in the field of social work, but for those familiar with it, I’m actually an INFP.
The choice of ragtime seemed both an apt one for satire (ala Randy Newman) and an ironically inapt one for a song about technology.
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